


Too late?

by Steph_Winchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Break Up, Divorce, Emotional Constipation, Happy Ending, Homelessness, Husbands, Lack of Communication, M/M, Near Death Experiences, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-05-01 16:40:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14524857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steph_Winchester/pseuds/Steph_Winchester





	Too late?

Cass was trying to make Dean understand, he wanted to help him but Dean was angry because he had screwed it up at work and all because he hadn´t been paying attention to Cass.  
Cass wanted to help him, Dean had to get evaluated at work, it was quite a complicated exam but he was ready, Cass had been helping him with his doubts. Just the night before Cass had tried to explain him how the new machine did the approximations, but Dean had been too distracted and tried to really pay attention. Dean had done the exam and that suited asshole had asked him exactly that, how the machine did its calculations and Dean had struggled severely to explain it. He had come home complaining. Cass didn´t know why he did it, he tried to explain Dean that he had told him yesterday how it was done and Dean had said he understood.  
“Why did you said you understood when clearly you didn´t?” asked Cass “I thought it was clear yesterday, the approximation is in fractions of sixty” Said Cass and got a piece of paper to dabble some numbers to explain Dean again  
“I don´t understand that...” said Dean complaining  
“But I explained it yesterday and you said you understood? C´mon Dean... is not difficult” Complained Cass  
“Let me be Cass!” Dean cut him harshly  
“Alright alright I am sorry” said Cass realizing this was leading to an argument, he really really didn´t want to argue  
“I said Let me be” Dean repeated angrily.  
Cass put the pen and paper down in sign of peace but he felt again... that hole in his stomach he always felt when Dean was harsh with him. He silently continued what he was doing in the first place while he heard Dean roam around the house. Cass felt like he was about to cry. He hated himself so much for being so soft or delicate... his feeling got hurt easily when Dean was involved. Cass retreated to the other side of the house silently to avoid any other confrontation for the day. Dean was giving him the silent treatment. Wonderful.  
He was reading in bed when Dean got to their bedroom and hoped into the bed, under the blankets and turned around and pretended to sleep. Fantastic thought Cass, he looked at the clock, 10 pm on a Friday. Dean was angry.  
He considered going to sleep to the guest bedroom but... he was afraid. He was afraid that if he made this decision there was no coming back. He put the book down, went to the bathroom, got into his pajamas and hoped into bed turning the lights off.  
“Goodnight Dean” he said in his last intent to avoid going to sleep angry. Only silence welcomed him, he turned away from Dean and tried to sleep.  
Cass had woken up early, very early but it might had something to do with going to bed shit early the night before. He got up, Dean was still sleeping. He did things around the house and left to do the week shopping and get one car tire fixed. Dean had complained that he had one tire low of air every now and then, that probably meant he had a nail on the tire. He had been so busy that Cass had agreed to take care of it.  
He did, he drove to the gas station, filled the tank, got the tire fixed and washed the car while he was there waiting. Stopped by the supermarket did the week grocery shopping and returned home to find Dean gone, Cass put the things away and did some basic cleaning.  
By lunchtime, Dead hadn´t come home, Cass did some work from his computer and worried about their marriage. What the hell was he doing? This was not the first, or second or third time it happened, they argued a lot lately. Was he really so thin skinned? or was their marriage really going downhill? Fuck if he knew. It got Dark and still no signs of Dean. Cass checked his phone by millionth time that day, no phone calls and no text messages. Dean was probably venting with Sam.  
By dinnertime, he texted Dean asking if he was coming back home. No answer. He had a sandwich, by midnight no sign of Dean. He called him, went to voice mail.  
He hoped into their bed, alone. He called Dean again by 2 am. And this time left a message “I am worried about you, please let me know at least you are alright? Please”  
By 4 am he did it again “Fuck Dean... should i call the police. Please, you don´t have to come home if you don´t wish to see me but please let me know you are alright”  
“I am alright” said a text a couple of minutes later.

Castiel cried his eyes out. He fell asleep at some point of the night.

In the morning, he got a shower and decided he had had enough. He got to their shared bedroom and got his clothes out of his drawers and closet and moved it all to their guest bedroom. There was no way he was going to sleep next to Dean after this... he needed time.  
Cass put some clean sheets over the bed and got some banquets to make himself comfortable. He changed the sheets in their shared bedroom and did the bed because he hated Dean to come home to an unmade bed...he knew it was silly but he wanted to take care of Dean despite being mad.  
He usually did some cooking for the week so Dean and himself didn´t have to have crappy lunch every day instead they sat together and had a nice home cooked meal. He decided there was no point in that.

He called his brother Gabe to see if he wanted to go out. Gabe was at the park with the kids, Cass decided to join them. When he got back home it was 6 pm. No signs of Dean. He got into his pajamas and chilled in the couch munching at some chips.  
When Dean arrived it was 10 pm “Hi” he said avoiding Cass´s eyes.  
“Hi” Cass answered not knowing what to expect... was Dean still angry? Had he messed that bad?  
Dean got into the shower when the landline rang. It was Sam “Hey Cass!”  
“Hello Sam, how are you doing?” Asked Cass wondering if Sam was checking Dean had gotten home safe and sound.  
“I was wondering if Jess and I could stop around and maybe the four o fuss have dinner together?” he asked. Cass knew this was a bad idea.  
“Not in the mood Sam as you can imagine and aren´t you sick of spending time with your brother this weekend?” Cass said trying to avoid whatever kind of intervention Sam was planning  
“ What are you talking about? I haven´t seen Dean in two weeks Cass, you guys have been too busy!” he said and that made Cass stop. So Dean hadn´t been with Sam? Cass had assumed he had crasshed on Sam´s couch...  
“Are you saying Dean didn´t went to visit you yesterday? Asked Cass  
“No...why are you asking that?” Sam sounded intrigued  
“No, nothing, my mistake” said Cass “Not a good day for couples diner Sam” he said “I got to go, take care and say hi to Jess” Cass finished the call without letting Sam reply.

Dean had spent the night out, he had assumed he had crushed at Sam´s... where did he spent the night? He felt like crying. He was angry. When Dean stepped out of the bathroom, Cass was sitting in their bedroom. He looked at Dean and felt like this was going to be a bad conversation...  
“Where did you spend the night?” he asked bluntly  
“Wow is that what you have to say?” Dean asked angrily  
“What am I supposed to say then Dean?” He asked equally angry  
“I don´t know... how about sorry for being a know-it-all-asshole?” Dean spitted and Cass saw anger in his eyes and backed off.  
“Yeah, I am sorry I tried to help, it was not my intention to undermine you. I am sorry” Cass said and left Dean a little awed in the bedroom.  
“Didn´t you want to know where I spent the night?” Dean said loudly  
“I don´t think it is none of my business anymore” Cass said to himself. He got to the guest bedroom and closed the door behind him. At that point Dean realiced this was not a normal discussion, this was serious, Cass had sounded defeated. He realized later that his husband had moved to the guest room and Dean spent the whole night awake, lying alone in their bed ... fuck his bad temper! He had hurt Cass.

Like that, their marriage was over?. During the week, they avoided each other, drove to work in different cars. Dean realized that Cass had been nice enough to help him with his car.  
Cass went out for lunch with other colleagues and Dean had to do that too, because he realized that without Cass, those nice home-made meals were gone. He told himself he didn´t care.  
He got out like always and headed home. Cass worked extra-hours and had a quick diner at his office. Got home late, got a shower and got to bed. Dean was already in their room. His room now, he corrected himself. It was easier that way, avoiding each other. Giving each other space. But on Saturday, Cass got up early, went for a run and cleared his head. He hated this, he gathered some courage and rehearsed come conversations is his head... by the time he was heading back home he was ready to talk with Dean and fix this. When he returned home, Cass found Dean with someone in their living room. The man, dressed in a suit shacked Dean´s hand and left.

“We need to talk” said Dean  
“Alright, I agree” Cass said sitting on a chair. Suddenly he was panicking "You first?"  
“I got a divorce lawyer, he came over to discuss our options” Dean said and for the first time Cass looked at him in the eye.  
“Is that what you want? To divorce me?” asked Cass trying his best to sound neutral but he felt like was about to have a panic attack. Dean remained silent and put some documents in front of him "look at them".  
Cass nodded “ I understand … I don´t have anywhere to go right now. I will look for an apartment and move out of your hair as soon as possible…” Cass managed to say avoiding Dean´s eyes again, if he had looked at Dean in the eye he would have seen how broken his husband was. Dean turned around and left the room. Cass took the documents to his bedroom and got a couple of suitcases from the closed. He needed to start packing his life. Dean wanted him out. It made sense. Time continued to be tense between them, they didn´t talk at all, two weeks passed and Cass found a cheap apartment near the office. One day when Dean came back from work, Cass was gone and there was a note and an envelope.  
“ Dean Dean, I moved out today. In the envelope you have the signed papers. I am only taking my car, which is already at my name. As the documents say, I keep half of the money in the bank account, I opened one already and deposited a check for that value. Feel free to rescind me from your accounts as soon as this is cashed.  
I will miss you more than you will never know.  
Castiel”

Dean read the note again. Cass didn´t take anything else? He looked around the house, his books were on the shelf, his pictures on the wall… the only thing missing was their wedding album. Why would he take their wedding album?... and that sentence “I will miss you more than you will never know” It made zero sense, if Cass wanted a divorce why doing all that?. Dean felt horrible.. why hadn´t him asked Cass to stay?. Cass was gone for real?. The love of his life was gone.  
   
Dean took some days off to spend with his brother. Sam had been very annoyed by Dean´s behavior more so when Dean had told him what had really been happening. His first question was “Wait… so that day when I called to your house to invite you for dinner…” Sam was interrupted by Dean  
“What day?” asked Dean and Sam suddenly flipped.  
“Fuck Dean! You don´t see it do you? I called Cass to invite you both for diner. His answers on the phone made me think something was wrong be he kept insisting everything was ok. When I said I wanted to see you? He asked me if I wasn´t tired of spending the day with you? I said I hadn´t seen you in weeks! Dean don´t you see…”  
“I don´t get it..” said Dean  
“It was the night you slept in the car! And Cass had thought that you were home with me… when I told him I hadn´t seen you he got all quiet…” Dean opened his eyes in shock  
“He thinks I spend the night with someone…” suddenly he was out of air… “Sam I would never…”  
“Does he know that at this point? Because from where I stand you have a shitty way of communicating Dean, You lash out on people when you are angry and then act like nothing, or you give the stupid silent treatment! I hate that so much!” Sam said trying Dean to understand.  
“So you are saying that my divorce is my fault!” Dean demanded and suddenly he realized maybe Sam was right.  
“No, I am saying that maybe… you should have talked with Cass before giving him those papers, assuming that was what he wanted! For god´s sake read that note! He said he will miss you!” Said Sam showing him the note again.  
“I can´t afford to have hope, he signed the papers, he left our home. He is out and ... if what you say is true, and I am so horrible to live with, maybe this is for the better, he does deserve better than this” Dean said defeated and wen´t back home despite Sam trying him to stay. To his empty, lonely, home. Only it didn´t feel like home again, because Cass was no longer there.  
When he returned to work. He realized he had passed the stupid test that had started the whole dramma, went to human resources and signed the documents.  
“Is everything alright Dean?” asked Jenny from HR looking at him worriedly  
“Yeah, why?” he asked  
“Castiel showing up at work like that… he might get fired..” she whispered  
“Showing here like what?” asked Dean  
“Drunk Dean, he was drunk” she confided and Dean frowned.  
“That doesn´t sound like Cass” Dean said  
“Well that is what I said, I convinced Addler that something must have happened because that was not like Castiel. By the way, he saved you ass last week, he made Addler saw that you got your two extra courses you did this year alongside your barely passed exam… he was happy about the courses and he decided not to call you up for a reprimand. I would say you should learn how that stupid machine works before the next evaluation” she said “Good to have your spouse have your back” she said and Dean looked at her a little sad. After all that, the silence between them, the different bedrooms, the divorce papers, Cass had helped him once more.  
“Yeah, it is good yes. I need to go” Said Dean. He still had time free, he got the rest of the day out and drove to Gabe´s house. When Gabe opened the door, he frowned and made a disgust face  
“I am happy to see you too. We need to talk” he said  
“Yeah Dean’o… what do you want eh? Another personality to destroy?” He said with a heavy sarcastic tone.  
“Cass showed up drunk at work today…” he said and Gabe´s face fell immediately.  
“No wonders...he is a wreck…your fault by the way” said Gabe looking Dean in the eye. Gabriel was angry at him.  
“He signed the divorce Gabe, he didn´t want anything to do with me anymore” Dean said protectively  
“He said you called the lawyer and presented him with the papers... Cass said you wanted the divorce. He told me he just wanted to give you a chance of being happy… even if that was without him” Gabe finished and Dean was feeling nauseous.  
“I was happy!” Dean said annoyed "I was" this time he felt drained.  
“Were you? He thinks you spent the night with somebody…”Gabe accused him  
“I would never… that night I needed to clear my head and I slept in my car. I was so angry at myself, I lashed out at Cass and I am a prideful bastard and didn´t know how to ask for forgiveness and by then it was too late. This... this breach opened between us and I thought I had failed the exam and I was probably going to lose my job… he moved to the guest room” Dean was babbling now started to cry “I was making him miserable Gabriel! I thought I would give him a change of being free, going to find someone who made him truly happy… not a failure like me” said Dean. He realized he was crying on Gabe´s shoulder. "That is why I hired the lawyer, to give him an out and he took it immediately...”

“Dean you are an idiot. But Cass loves you. He is destroying his life, you are destroying both your lives with this. Go find him, go see where he is right now and tell me he doesn´t love you” Gabe gave him a piece of paper with an address and a key.  
“I don´t know if this will solve anything Gabe. If what you say is true and he didn´t want the divorce, what would fix me going over there a month later to tell him it was a mistake?” he asked pondering if that was a mistake.  
“You will never know if you don´t try” he say “and Dean, if you end up destroying my brother, don´t come back here” Gabe said

Dean googled the address, it was a nice rental downtown, near the office. When he arrived to the fifth floor apartment 506 he wondered if he should knock, but following Gabe´s advice, he got it with the key. The apartment was alright. No furniture. Two boxes in the place where the living-room was supposed to be were covered with a piece of cloth as a table and there was a pizza leftover there.  
He wondered around, no furniture anywhere. The room was horrible, there was no mattress, just a bunch of blankets in a corner, two crumbled suitcases full of wrinkled clothes, A bunch of bottles of whisky. It smelled rancid. Cass was not in the bathroom either. He waited for a while but then decided to go out and get some food when he saw the fridge completely empty, maybe once Cass was back home they could sit with some homemade food and talk.  
When he was leaving the apartment he found a nosy old woman “He hasn´t been home in two days, he doesn´t seem very stable” she said “Are you a policeman?” asked the lady.

Dean just kept walking. He hadn´t been in the apartment in two days… where was Cass sleeping? Dean called Gabe, told him about his findings and shared his concerns. They called all their friends, colleagues, family… nobody had seen him in the last month.  
Dean had been with his family and Cass had been alone. Dealing with the breakup. After two days without news from Cass, he hadn´t showed at work and Dean had applied in his place for a sick leave augmenting some family problem.  
He finally called the police, hospitals, morgues… he didn´t know where to look next. Time was passing by, winter was approaching fast and the first snow of the year hit the city hard. Dean had cried all night wondering about Cass… imagining him alone on the streets and soddenly he realized there was a place he hadn´t looked at. The homeless shelters, he made a list of places available and visited each one, showing people a picture of Castiel.

“I have seem him two nights ago!” said one woman “He is sleeping under a bridge in Manfort, he said he had nobody anymore, he had a picture of his wedding with him… I think his husband died.. poor boy” the woman said leaving Dean in tears again.

He drove to Manfort like a crazy man and looked around every bridge in the area all day, looking for Cass, there was a lot of snow and it was fucking cold. Finally on a little corner he saw a bundle. It was a man, wrapped upon himself and he recognized Cass´s coat. Dean ran over there and tried to wake him up.  
Cass looked at Dean like he was seeing a dream and tried to say something but he was trembling hard. Dean wrapped him in his arms and carried him to the car and drove home. Once there, he carried Cass to the bathroom and divested him. He was dirty, smelly and cold, so so cold that Dean considered taking him to the hospital but he wanted to check him out first. Set the bath running with hot water and took his phone and shoes off to enter the bathtub with Cass. When the warm water touched his skin he screamed and cried. Dean held him until they were warm again.  
Cass was so exhausted that he had almost fallen asleep in Dean´s arms. Dean helped him out of the shower and enveloped him on a dry and warm towel, dressed him in comfy pajamas and tucked him in their bed.  
He prepared a hot sandwich and a cup of tea for Cass that drank it in silence. Only after he dared to speak “Am I dead?” asked Cass and Dean broke down and cried. Holding him tight “No my love, you are not dead” 

They feel asleep like that, in each other´s arms and it was perfect, when they opened their eyes, it was high day. “What happened Dean?” asked Cass  
“I looked for you everywhere, I was desperate” said Dean trying to contain the tears.  
“Why… you… we are not together anymore… why did you look for me?” he asked sadly  
“Because I love you, I love you Cass, I love you so much” Dean said holding him tight  
“I love you too” said Cass in a whisper and Dean felt his shirt get wet… Cass was crying.  
“Don´t cry, we will figure this out. I give you my word, we will talk it all out… oh fuck I need to call Gabe” Dean reached for his phone and called Gabriel  
“Dean! Do you have news?” said Gabe worried sick  
“I found him, during the night, I needed to take care of him but he is feeling better now. I think he is staying here at home” Dean looked at Cass “are you? Going to stay?” Dean asked Cass  
“If you want me to…” Cass answered on a whisper  
“He is staying here with me” Dean Sentenced “I will call you later Gabe” He said before letting the phone aside.  
“he was worried …” Cass said sounding surprised that his family missed him  
“Of course we all were! Gabe, Sam, myself!. I went to your apartment, we looked for you everywhere, hospitals, jail, morgue, later I looked around the homeless shelters until somebody pointed me towards the bridge. It had been snowing for days Cass, you were almost dead from hypothermia” Dean explained  
“I didn´t care anymore…” whispered Cass  
“Listen I am the biggest idiot in the world, I thought you were very unhappy in our marriage… I only wanted to make it better, maybe by setting you free you could find someone that deserved you… That is why I called the lawyer… I made a horrible mistake because I was a proud asshole and I didn´t know how to say I was sorry… I just wanted you back but the silence made me feel hated and you avoided me… I thought you wanted a divorce”  
“I never wanted a divorce. We argue a lot Dean. Sometimes you say things that hurt me, I guess I have a soft skin when it comes to you…I just want you to love me…” Cass admitted looking at Dean straight in the eye.  
“I do love you Cass, more than anything babe” Dean held him close. They both needed human contact and stayed embraced in bed until Cass´s stomach started to rumble.  
“I will cook something for the both of us” Dean said standing up and heading towards the kitchen.  
“Dean? What day is today?” Asked Cass  
“December21st” said Dean and Cass opened his eyes in surprise.  
“What?” asked Dean  
“We have been divorced for two months today” he said sadly  
“Is it too late to fix us Cass?” Dean asked holding his hand "can we fix it?"  
“It depends, Do you love me? And I mean love me enough to stay married?” Asked Cass  
“yes” said Dean without hesitation.  
“I love you too. What do we do now?” He asked  
Dean got his phone and called the lawyer and put it on speaker “Hey Mr.Crowley I am Dean Winchester.. I wanted to know if you have made my divorce official?”  
“Not yet, I am still waiting for some documents from court, it should be filed this week, then it will be official” Dean looked at Cass and held his hand.  
“See Mr. Crowley, I am here at home sitting with my husband and we would like you to destroy that horrible piece of paper” said Dean and Cass´s eyes shined with tears. Dean caressed his husband´s cheek  
“Castiel are you there?” asked Crowley “I am going to need confirmation for this, either you in person or your lawyer”  
“Should we meet at your office?” asked Cass  
“I am close to your house, I can stop by” said Crowley  
“We are home, stop by anytime” he said  
“See you soon” he said and Cass buried his face on Dean´s neck. “Don´t worry darling, everything is going to be alright, we are going to be alright”

Two hours later, Crowley gave them the documents and Dean tore them into pieces. Crowley said "congratulations for not getting a divorce" and Dean felt like the man was really pleased that the couple was staying together. When he left, Gave showed up and nervously he hugged Castiel tight. After telling him how much he worried and never to do that again. He turned to Dean and hugged him too “I am sorry I had been so harsh with you but I saw my brother getting hurt and losing his will to live… I put it all on you but, my babybro is equally stupidly guilty of not communicating”  
“He is right” said Cass “Why can´t we talk about our feelings?” said Cass  
“I hate feeling vulnerable and I have being the short straw alright? Makes me feel worthless” said Dean  
“I love to see your vulnerable side, I want to see it, I feel proud that you show me sometimes… I didn´t know you saw it as a bad thing. And if this showed me something is that apparently I am the short straw. I almost killed myself because I had lost you. I am sorry for putting you both through this” Cass said  
“I love you Cass, please forgive me for being so narrow minded. I will be better, I promise” said Dean  
“I love you too” Cass hugged him and Gabe smiled relived.  
“You two idiots are adorable, please don´t scare me like this ever again? So what now, you re-marry?” he asked  
“We stopped the divorce” said Cass

"Oh... well I was already planning a bachelor party all over again" said Gabe making Cass flinch  
"Like the last one hadn´t been enough for a life time" said Cass "Go home Gabe, i will be fine" then turned to Dean and held his hand "we will be fine"

Six months later.  
Dean was in the parking lot waiting for Cass, he was happy and when Cass approached he jumped into his arms. I got the promotion! He screamed and Cass kissed him lovingly  
“I knew you would” he said  
“You always have a blind faith in me… I wish I could understand what you see…that I can´t” Dean said  
“I love you Dean” simple stated Cass, gave him a peck and asked “Can we go home?”  
“Of course” Said Dean. He drove them home. When they got home Cass found that there were candles in the living room, rose petals over their bed and a wonderful diner ready for them  
“What is going on here?” asked Cass looking at Dean  
“Today is 21 June” he said and Cass looked at him with wide eyes… “I wanted to have a nice diner and celebrate”  
“Celebrate we almost got divorced?” asked Cass wondering  
“No, silly. Celebrate I fixed the biggest mistake of my life before it was too late and appreciate that you gave us a second chance” he said and that melted Cass  
“I love you Dean” he said hugging him tight  
“I adore you Castiel Winchester, you are the love of my life and the most wonderful person I have ever met. I am a better person because of you. Thank you babe” Dean said and kneeling down he showed him a ring  
“What?” Cass started to ask but Dean looked at him with those hopeful eyes and he shut up  
“Cass, I wanted this to be a promise. I promise I will always be there for you, I would never disappoint you again, I will always love you like you deserve, I will never walk away during a fight, I will always stay by your side no matter what, I will never leave you again”  
“Oh Dean…thanks so much for this! I love you I love you….” Cass kissed him passionately and Dean slipped the little band in Cass´s finger. He was wearing two wedding bands now. Each one symbolized a different promise.  
One a promise of love, the other a promise of never giving up.


End file.
